Setting up Home - What to Expect from Relocating
These days, a lot of people are on the move around the world. For a number of reasons - some great, some terrible.
The pandemic is seemingly slipping down in severity and prominence in people’s minds, in many parts of the world. Lots of us are rekindling ideas of travel, both temporary and more permanent.
With borders opening up globally, there is more opportunity to move than in recent years. Also having had the opportunity denied for so long, people are keen to get out and stretch their travel legs and explore what is out there and how life looks through a different lens.
On the other end of the happy spectrum, huge swathes of people are being displaced by war atrocities, families are being removed from their homes by force and fire – we are here to support people affected by any of those things, in any way we can also.
With all this in mind, I thought this week I would talk about the joys and pitfalls of making an international move. What to expect and what you can prepare for, mentally and practically.
This content will draw both on my own personal experiences of living overseas and also the feedback from the many people we have helped to move.
The lead up to the move
Expect to doubt yourself - In the lead up to my relocation, there were a few key points where ‘the fear’ struck me and I suddenly doubted I was brave enough, adventurous enough, grown-up enough – any number of a list of qualities that I felt I lacked that I thought would make my transition easier. These fears and doubts are normal. When leaving what is comfortable, routine, familiar, and leaping into the blue to start over, we can lose our support networks and the frequent companionship of our nearest and dearest. This is bound to leave us with some raw emotional moments (at least for my personality type…I love easily and hard, and thrive with stability and a support network).
It is important in these moments to consider what is in this move for you. What are you hoping to gain or achieve in your new life? Is it safety and security? Is it more beautiful surroundings? Is it a better climate politically or economically? It helped me to picture myself in my new surroundings (my motives were mainly more sunshine and beaches) and see how that made me feel. If your motives are a better lifestyle, career advancement or financial reward, picture your success in this, and remember you ARE strong and capable and adaptable and all the rewards will – with luck – follow as you hoped. These doubts were fleeting and my driving forces were robust enough to keep my momentum on track.
Pack carefully with your new life in mind – Again, one from personal experience here. I spent weeks going through everything I owned and made myself either give it away (to charity or friends), throw it away or ship it over. The list of things I thought I could not live without was much bigger than I anticipated and I spent a fortune in shipping fees. However, there were some issues with its transportation and I didn’t see my belongings again for nearly 6 months. By that time, when I opened my boxes full of excitement, I was surprised by how underwhelmed I was by all the things I thought I could never live without. I will never part with my vinyl record collection for example, but I could have left my average sound system at home and not missed it. And the London clothes I had sent my future self mostly went in the recycling pile. It was far too hot for them, even in winter!
Say your goodbyes effusively – We never know how things are going to work out. Many of the people we helped move pre-pandemic found themselves stuck in situ in their new location and did not get to see family in person for a couple of years. Of course, we hope this will not repeat itself any time soon, but who knows what the future may bring? Tell people you love them, hug them hard and make the most of your goodbyes. Enjoy people as much as you can – to ‘Fill your basket’ as it were.
Settling in
Prepare to miss people / feel lost – You are on the other end of the journey - there you are, in your new life and your new home, finding your feet. Things are exciting, you are finding your way around and feeling good but again there is the occasional thought of missing what you left behind. This – whether it be FOMO with friends or family, or just missing the familiarity of daily routines – is again entirely normal. Human nature is to crave the familiar. Bear with these feelings, they are usually only temporary and occasional. Don’t be ruled by them.
They say it can take up to 2 years to settle into a new life. In the balance though, with luck, the good far outweighs the bad.
Expect homesickness but also the joys of finding your feet – Finding your way around in a new geography can be disorientating. I had physical yearnings for not just the people I left behind, but also the places. I missed my regular social establishments in London’s Soho, I missed Sundays grouped around the fire in my local bar with my mates. I missed being able to see family in a weekend rather than a 24-hour flight. But as things started to fall into place both literally and figuratively in my new life, I rejoiced in knowing – for example – what area of Sydney I wanted to live in, how to get from the office to the beach most efficiently, and what to do when
Expect to not know things you previously took for granted – I realised about 6 months into my new life that I didn’t know how to call an ambulance should I need to! Having had the emergency services phone number emblazoned in my mind for the first 30 years of my life, I was glad that I had noticed before I needed to that I didn’t know what the Australian equivalent was! I know from someone I helped move to Amsterdam recently that there, delivery folk when bringing your new furniture, will only bring it to the front door, not inside the house / up the stairs. Some I helped move from the US to London a few years back were very surprised to find that estate agents here take a very different approach to helping you find a new home than they did back home.
Even if you are moving to a country that speaks the same language as you – there will be things you need help with when acclimatising. Use it as an opportunity to make friends whilst exploring!
